The Doldrums on the Sea of Chingford

Went along to King George Sailing Club, Saturday afternoon, on King George Reservoir (aka the Sea of Chingford) for their Open Day. Nice selection of club Wayfarers (big, old, heavy, solid, stable), Picos (small, heavy, solid, stable) and a very basic Laser (mediumish, lightish, solidish, stablish...never know where you are with a Laser).

Big reservoir, nice big space of water, panoramic view of Edmonton. No wind. Not a breath.
"We haven't seen this little wind in ten years," the bloke with the beard said and he then gazed into space - well roughly towards Waltham Cross - as if to summons up some mysterious hidden gusts. But no. Nothing.

T wisely chose the Laser which can move if you sneeze into the sail while I got the Pico which is such an unsubtle and lumpy boat, it's probably safer and heavier than an Indonesian car ferry. I moved slowly towards the next jetty, propelled largely by plate tectonics. T had a bit of a sail, but it really was not a sailing day. It was an oohhhh-Norwich-were-bragging-about-bouncing-straight-back-up-day-yet-they-let-7-in-from-those-monsters-of-football-Colchester kind of day.

Anyway..KGSC: nice club, very friendly folk; very tempting. But it's not Cowes, is it? You don't get Chingford Week, do you? But the friendliness and club Lasers probably trumps everything.

Not Stratford, but Warwick

The need to get North Star's engine sorted out means we are having to change our plans and head for Calcutt Boats next week. It really is frustrating to be let down so badly by someone that you have to change holiday plans for the family.

However, Warwick should be as interesting as Stratford-upon-Avon. Fortunately the Grand Union also has railway stations close by for getting to the first match of the season on the 15th.

Different takes on educating the public

Ever since sharing a stage with them at a workshop, I have been very impressed with the professionalism of the US National Park Service. It was not surprising the local authority in a remote corner of China - who were running the heritage management workshop to train their staff - were prepared to fly in three of the NPS' finest. Their presentations were excellent, their manner inspiring and the three of them were charming.

I am not, therefore, surprised to see the quality of their recently re-published Historic Resource Study book for the Chesapeake & Ohio Canal (by Harlan D. Unrau). It consists of no less than 851 pages of detailed information.

In Britain, authorities and entities have dumbed down interpretation to the extent that the best we can expect for canals now are those panels telling us, cartoon-style, how many baths of water it takes to fill a lock. They usually show a picture of a bath in case you have managed to get this far in life without being able to recognise a bath-tub.

The NPS study is just superb: they recognise that their role is to educate and promote learning. It's not just about scrounging every last penny off everyone for everything.

Halldór Laxness

Reading Halldór Laxness' World Light. As good as modern literature gets. I've always had a soft spot for Iceland and Icelandic people, ever since I spent a few weeks camping near Skógafoss many years ago.

The anticipation. And Walsall.

I do love the planning bit! Next week I think we'll be heading down the Stratford for a week. Not sure which way we'll go. Ho hum. And the football season's about to start again. Life is good.

Originally I had planned to take next week off so that we could join the BCNS Explorer Cruise as I heard rumours that this might be the last one for a while. But no matter how much I wax lyrical about the Daw End, the Rushall and the Curley Wyrley, the family still can't reconcile the prospects of spending their summer holiday in Walsall. Even when I remind them that we have just spent two weeks sailing in the Med and that Walsall is just, well...the icing on the cake. I'm getting gobsmacked looks from the kids when I describe Walsall as the icing on the cake.

If Michael Palin can do East of Ipswich, then surely I can do West of Walsall.

Why "No TimeWasters" is counter-productive

I do love Apollo Duck, and it must now be the leading website for those buying and selling narrowboats. But why is it that most advertisements there are so poor?

Sellers generally do so by uploading one blurry photograph, writing one sentence and expecting a buyer to fork out - on average - twice the annual yearly income on that basis. Oh, and then they have the temerity to boldly proclaim No Timewasters!
Eh? Where did that come from? No timewasters? So what's a timewaster then?
If sellers put up a decent description and decent photos, then buyers could make a decision about whether they should travel 400 miles to look at a boat. You think I'm going to think about 40,000 quid buying decision based on a holiday snap and a sentence? Me the timewaster? ffs, as they say in chat rooms. Any real salesperson knows that seeling anything is mainly a numbers game: the more that see what you are selling, the higher likelihood of selling quicker/more/for a higher price.

During the last 18 months, we looked actively for a boat and were astonished how poorly they were sold by private buyers. On once occasion I was told that it was OK to travel up to Cheshire from London. When I was five miles from the destination, I was phoned to be told it had been sold. "Sorry," they said. Exactly how are you defining the word 'Sorry' in this context?

On another occasion, when faced with a vague internal layout description, I was told that a cross-boat rear bathroom was reversible with "a little mechanical dexterity". Within seconds of arriving at the end of a long journey I discovered that "a little mechanical dexterity" would require heavy-duty steel cutting, welding and suitcase loads of banknotes.

At the other end of the scale, I discovered Virginia Currer, Nottingham Boat Sales and other professional brokers to be excellent, although even they were often hampered by their witless clients wanting far too much money or other such faux pas. In the end, we bought North Star through Nottingham Boat Sales, who provided excellent advice, friendly service and did what they said they would do.

I always bristle now when I see the term "No timewasters" because it is an exceptionally aggressive and subjective position. While searching for a boat during the last year, I was really put off going to see boats where "No timewasters" was stamped on the advert. On reflection, I can't quite put my finger on why - I'm generally a relatively assertive chap - but maybe it's because I am psychologically unwilling to be labelled a timewaster, even by people I do not know. Buying a boat is not like buying a car, and for most buyers there are many emotions involved; it's more like buying a house. It has to be "just so" and there are many inexplicable things that contribute to that feel-good factor.

I suggest that if you are selling a boat and you stick 'No Timewasters" in the advert, you will be putting off good potential buyers; it's counter-productive. This is why stores don't have 'No Timewasters' signs in their windows.

Be friendly, be helpful, be informative and recognise that the purchase price - for the buyer - is probably the single biggest cheque they will write in their life. There may be some timewasters along the line, but they will certainly be out-numbered by genuine buyers.

Sunny Greece, rainy London - messing about in boats

Two weeks sailing Lasers and Picos at Kalamata in Greece comes with a simple antidote: a return to London, where drizzle greets us at Gatwick. Drizzle and the usual feral queue at the Dartford Crossing: I understand the Romans had to queue for three miles when they came, too.

There really is something about messing about in boats, though. It is just as much fun pitch-poling a Laser in a Force 5 as there is mucking up the approach to Sawley Lock.

I am happy on any boat, big or small, and even reading the harrowing accounts of the 1979 Fastnet race in magazines - which is coming up to the 30th anniversary this month - aren't deterring me from tentative planning to take part in 2011.

The next big adventure - after a week on North Star - is a day on one of the beautiful Thames sailing barges. I really want to go through Tower Bridge on one of them under sail - never going to happen, but it gives me goosebumps.

Was it Boswell or Napoleon who said that Britain is a nation of shopkeepers? I think we are, much more, a nation of boaters and sailors.